i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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