She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
