hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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