I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
