I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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