Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
