There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
