I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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