There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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