if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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