I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
one might say we're banned from that church
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
