I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
