I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
