I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
