Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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