Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
