I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize