One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
