got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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