He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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