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I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
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