Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.