Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I love summer.

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  (302): I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week. (302): I love summer. http://tfl.nu/82u6
  Replies (13) Good night (3992) Bad night (629)
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  (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

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  (310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over. http://tfl.nu/nwsy
  Replies (40) Good night (16311) Bad night (2382)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (55) Good night (4886) Bad night (908)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

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  (904): i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall http://tfl.nu/fpdq
  Replies (36) Good night (8478) Bad night (1091)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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  (636): trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites. http://tfl.nu/811n
  Replies (10) Good night (5020) Bad night (844)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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  (608): It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/47ew
  Replies (10) Good night (3690) Bad night (1277)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

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  (315): I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse. http://tfl.nu/tyw2
  Replies (16) Good night (857) Bad night (4918)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home

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  (484): hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home http://tfl.nu/2xw9
  Replies (8) Good night (3929) Bad night (1202)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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  (907): I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘 http://tfl.nu/3lq0
  Replies (11) Good night (2717) Bad night (941)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (23) Good night (2888) Bad night (860)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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  (954): Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early. (1-954): Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar. (954): I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am? (1-954): A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think http://tfl.nu/h7b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1481) Bad night (482)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame

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  (315): I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame http://tfl.nu/dh70
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (551)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.

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  (757): I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One. http://tfl.nu/azcx
  Replies (0) Good night (1364) Bad night (356)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".

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  (603): I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl". http://tfl.nu/ggns
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (199)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been

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  (443): I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been http://tfl.nu/ofdd
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (189)

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