it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
