I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
