It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The power of my boobs compel you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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