I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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