I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
