All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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