I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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