Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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