Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
