I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
