I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
