Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
