OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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