Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
