I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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