Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Mom said you looked used
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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