suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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