oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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