you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drunk is not a location!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
