I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
