i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
