on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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