i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
