I'm drive I can fine osifer
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
