Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
