So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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