my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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