Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
