I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
