I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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