Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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