i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
