I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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