So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
