I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
