I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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