im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
operation have a gay friend backfired
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
