i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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