I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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