Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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