i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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