i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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