Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
