Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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