I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
