Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
