Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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