Who wears a wallet chain?!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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