Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
